Men can be feminists. I hope you all new this already; however, if you didn’t, now you do. They can. And many are. A lot of people have the wrong idea about what a feminist is and what they stand for. Although, I don’t want to try to make any argument about that here. Instead, I wanted to vent a little frustration I have built up about life as a woman today.
No, I am not a woman. Nor do I assume I know what it is like to be a woman. In fact, I admit that I have no idea. It was only a few years ago that I had a real awakening about how seriously the ad industry impacts a woman’s perception of herself. Like with any privilege, as a man, I do not have to think about these types of issues. However, women cannot get away from them.
I was talking to two friends of mine (both female) and they shared with me an experience they had. Both were dressed up as superheroes (they had just been to a themed party) and they were walking together down a city street at night. Already, many people would say this is a mistake: women should not walk down a city street at night wearing anything that would draw attention to themselves. At the very least, they were not alone.
My friends told be that, just walking down one street, they were stopped, catcalled, or invited into a man’s car at least seven times. They’re costumes were not promiscuous or slutty, and it certainly didn’t matter. I thought about what would happen if I had been walking down the street with a male friend in costume. We would not have to worry about being pestered or propositioned by strangers. In fact, I would feel perfectly comfortable walking down the street alone in costume. As a man, I could do this without worrying too much. I do take precautions and I have self-defense training, but I never in my life felt that I was in a situation that could warrant the use of such techniques.
I get upset by this because, as a child, I was given the impression by the media (like most other children) that women were frail, delicate, and innocent. Unfortunately, I was slow to learn that this was not the case. It was not until high school that I began to see that girls were not always as “pure” as I thought they were supposed to be. I realized much later that it is very difficult for a girl to actually be. Especially when, if she walks down the street in anything that could catch the eye, she should expect to be catcalled or harassed by men.
Now women are pressured by society to be the frail, innocent things they are pictured as in the media, but also be strong enough to fend off the droves of ignorant and immature men. Though I realize I am probably preaching to the choir, it is important to get the message across. As I said, it was a long time before I realized why feminists were so angry. If it took so long for me, a man who has many female and feminist friends, to realize this, I can only imagine how blind other guys are to this issue.
Sure, most guys don’t really want to talk about the issue or feel uncomfortable doing so, but if this is the case, then they probably don’t understand the severity of the problem. Unfortunately, I have no good method of teaching men. You really just have to make sure they really listen and think about all of the implications. Make him imagine what it would be like to live as a woman in this society.
It will take years, perhaps centuries before this type of discrimination against women ends, if ever. However, this has been true for every group of people fighting for civil and equal rights. Don’t give up hope.
